Tag Archives: depressed person

One thing at a time

There are days, sometimes weeks, when I feel fantastic. Then there are days, sometimes weeks and months when I feel pretty crappy. On the crappy days, my mantra becomes “one thing at a time”. When my depression was really bad, it was the only thing that got me out of bed. Continue reading

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Changing My Anti-Depressant Medication

Today I had an appointment with my GP to discuss changing my anti-depressant medication. I have been on Citalopram for 2 years and 3 months, and it has stopped being as effective as it once was. I would, of course, prefer to be coming off anti-depressants completely, but at the moment this isn’t an option. In order to switch medication, I’m going to be tapering off the Citalopram – taking 20mg for 1 week, then 10mg for 1 week, then starting on 39.5mg of Venlafaxine and building this up over a few weeks or months. It’s going to take time. Continue reading

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Learning to live with depression: 2 year update

Today I realised that it has been almost exactly 2 years since I started taking anti-depressants (Citalopram). It seems crazy that it’s been so long! I remember when I was first prescribed them that I thought that I’d be on them for a maximum of 6 months. How wrong I was!

A lot has changed since then. Continue reading

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Feeling Calmer

I’m feeling much calmer today than I was 1 week ago. I don’t feel as angry. And my head feels much clearer. I think this is in part to do with the fact that I have been meditating most days (I managed 5 out of 7 days). I’ve been trying to get myself out of my head – through exercise and socialising. I’ve also been trying to focus on the future a bit more than usual, as well as trying to remain more in the present when I’m doing things. I know this sounds contradictory, but bear with me. Continue reading

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I’m Not Mad

I’ve always struggled with going to sleep early, and I’ve got into a bad habit of staying up late recently. I know it’s partly because my most recent partner was a late night person and we would often not get to sleep until 1 or 2am. This doesn’t help my mental health, however, so I’m going to try and rectify this. As I write this, it is 1:09am, so perhaps I’ll start tomorrow. Continue reading

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Living life for myself: Selfishness at its best

I used to try and fit myself around my life. Now I fit my life around me. I have to look after myself and that requires some measure of selfishness. Continue reading

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High or Low? A discussion of Anti-Depressant Dosage

I had an interesting discussion on Tuesday with my psychiatrist about my anti-depressant dosage, in which I explained how differently I feel on different anti-depressant doses. I initially decided to drop my dose from 30mg to 20mg because I had 3 days in January during which I forgot to take any tablets, and although I had horrific withdrawal symptoms – sweating, collapsing, breathlessness, lightheadedness – afterwards I felt incredible. I felt free. I felt like a lid had been lifted off my head. I felt happy, I felt sad, I felt anger. I felt emotions that I had been incapable of feeling since starting the 30mg citalopram dose. Continue reading

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