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I haven’t written for quite a while, particularly about my mental health, and I think it’s about time I change that. Continue reading
A friend of mine recently reminded me of an aspect of depression that is often overlooked: that the lack of motivation to do things can affect not only your ability to participate in social activities, but every element of your life, including eating. Continue reading
Today I had an appointment with my GP to discuss changing my anti-depressant medication. I have been on Citalopram for 2 years and 3 months, and it has stopped being as effective as it once was. I would, of course, prefer to be coming off anti-depressants completely, but at the moment this isn’t an option. In order to switch medication, I’m going to be tapering off the Citalopram – taking 20mg for 1 week, then 10mg for 1 week, then starting on 39.5mg of Venlafaxine and building this up over a few weeks or months. It’s going to take time. Continue reading
Today I realised that it has been almost exactly 2 years since I started taking anti-depressants (Citalopram). It seems crazy that it’s been so long! I remember when I was first prescribed them that I thought that I’d be on them for a maximum of 6 months. How wrong I was!
A lot has changed since then. Continue reading
I’m feeling much calmer today than I was 1 week ago. I don’t feel as angry. And my head feels much clearer. I think this is in part to do with the fact that I have been meditating most days (I managed 5 out of 7 days). I’ve been trying to get myself out of my head – through exercise and socialising. I’ve also been trying to focus on the future a bit more than usual, as well as trying to remain more in the present when I’m doing things. I know this sounds contradictory, but bear with me. Continue reading
My mental health is in a funny place these days. My mind feels like it’s in chaos. I struggle to feel happiness, but I’m not so depressed that I can’t function. My anxiety is quite hard to cope with at the moment, and I feel both listless and unable to sit still. I want everyone to go away, but when they do I feel lonely. It feels like I’ve reached an impasse, because I’ve been here before. I was here 2 years ago, before I moved to Belfast. The difference this time is that I’m not escaping into a cocaine-induced high, or an alcohol-induced stupor. I’m not necessarily dealing with things either. But I’m not running away and that’s a start. Continue reading