Category Archives: Musings

Solitary Beings

I have been spending a lot of time alone in my room lately, but it feels like a good thing. I’ve never really stayed still long enough to consider what is my true nature. Lately, I’ve come to the realisation … Continue reading

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Oblivion

One of the things I’ve realised about myself is that I love to lose myself in oblivion. Whether that oblivion is drugs or alcohol or just a book or a TV series, it’s the feeling of being lost in something … Continue reading

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Waiting

I’ve realised that I’m waiting. Waiting for medical transition to start, waiting to leave Belfast, waiting for life to start. I used to be terrible at waiting. Now it seems that I’ve become an expert. The issue with waiting, is that once the waiting is over, what am I left with? My life has become consumed by my transition, but once that’s over, what then? Continue reading

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It’s a funny thing…

Energy is a funny thing. I’m not talking about physical energy, I mean emotional energy. Each engagement we have with another person costs us some emotional energy. The trade off is an exchange of energy, hopefully one that will replenish the energy that you give away. There’s more to it than this, too. There’s positive energy, and negative energy. Harm can be done to others by giving off negative vibes that those around you pick up. Negative energy repels, positive energy attracts. Continue reading

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Love and Grief

How can it be possible to love so much and yet not be loved? How can in be possible to feel that you were loved, and yet not have been loved? How can it be possible to feel so much … Continue reading

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Sitting with Loneliness

Things have to get worse before they get better. It’s just the way of things. These last few weeks after my lowest point was reached have definitely been getting better. But better doesn’t mean perfect. I couldn’t quite put my … Continue reading

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Self-Belief: Gender

Self-belief is something that I have always struggled with. I don’t lack self-esteem or self-confidence, but I do lack self-belief – defined as trust in my own abilities. In particular, I don’t trust my ability to make the right choices … Continue reading

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