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For the longest time, I have thought that the depression I experience is not unipolar, but bipolar. I discussed this with my psychiatrist at the GIC, who said that my ‘manic’ episodes are not severe enough to warrant a ‘diagnosis’ as bipolar. Although I understand that my manic periods don’t result in hospitalisation or psychosis, they still affect me such that aspects of my life drastically change due to the extreme highs and lows. Continue reading
Today is the 6th day on Venlafaxine. So far, the side effects have been far less severe than those I experienced on Citalopram. I’ve been following the leaflet advice, and taking the tablet with food, and I’m on a half-dose … Continue reading
Today is meant to be the last day that I take Citalopram, and tomorrow is meant to be the first day that I start Venlafaxine. However, I’ve decided to delay starting on the new anti-depressant for another day as tomorrow is the last day of my holidays (I’m skiing with my family) and I don’t want to feel sick tomorrow. I know that there will be side effects – there was with Citalopram – and I’d rather save the nausea for a non-holiday day!
I’ve been tapering down my Citalopram dose, doing 1 week of 20mg and 1 week of 10mg. I struggled with the 20mg but the 10mg has posed the biggest challenge to me. I’ve had several days where I’ve been close to tears for absolutely no reason whatsoever. One evening I had to go to bed early because I was too close to tears and couldn’t control it – again, for no reason. My worst day was when I woke up feeling extremely low and ended the day feeling very suicidal. The following morning I struggled to get any energy to do anything at all but my mum encouraged me to get out of the house and hit the slopes (skiing holiday, remember?) and I felt loads better afterwards. Continue reading
Today I had an appointment with my GP to discuss changing my anti-depressant medication. I have been on Citalopram for 2 years and 3 months, and it has stopped being as effective as it once was. I would, of course, prefer to be coming off anti-depressants completely, but at the moment this isn’t an option. In order to switch medication, I’m going to be tapering off the Citalopram – taking 20mg for 1 week, then 10mg for 1 week, then starting on 39.5mg of Venlafaxine and building this up over a few weeks or months. It’s going to take time. Continue reading
I had an interesting discussion on Tuesday with my psychiatrist about my anti-depressant dosage, in which I explained how differently I feel on different anti-depressant doses. I initially decided to drop my dose from 30mg to 20mg because I had 3 days in January during which I forgot to take any tablets, and although I had horrific withdrawal symptoms – sweating, collapsing, breathlessness, lightheadedness – afterwards I felt incredible. I felt free. I felt like a lid had been lifted off my head. I felt happy, I felt sad, I felt anger. I felt emotions that I had been incapable of feeling since starting the 30mg citalopram dose. Continue reading